Trusting God's plans... and being thankful for His blessings!

This past month has been difficult, to say the least.  It all still seems surreal, and I think I've been avoiding talking about it very much because I still wish we could go back and things would be different.  And for some reason writing it down seems to make it all the more definite...
I am a planner, I like to plan things out and plan ahead.  I don't really like surprises, I prefer to have everything written out in my little planner and on our family calendar at home and unfortunately, I'm not really a "go with the flow" kind of a person.  I like to-do lists and schedules and I try to stick to them, it makes me feel in control of things and I like to feel like I'm in control.  This is something that is very difficult for me to talk about, because most people don't even know about it, but for some reason I feel like I need to.  We had been trying to plan for something...for a while.  We had been talking about, praying about and planning for months to hopefully start trying for baby #2 around Bayley's first birthday, expecting that it might take a few months before it would actually happen.  Much to our surprise, we got pregnant sooner than we expected and found out in late September that Bayley was going to be a big sister in early June.  We were elated!  We had prayed for this child, every day, and we began praying even harder once we found out about the baby...  everything seemed to be going great, there was not nearly as much morning sickness or other symptoms that had been so constant with Bayley, but we thought that was a blessing - that maybe things were just going to be even easier this time around and we were thankful for that.  We were anxiously anticipating our first OB appointment because we knew that it would include an ultrasound and we would get to see our little miracle and that amazing, beautiful sound of the baby's heartbeat that we so desperately longed to hear!  I remember that after our first ultrasound with Bayley, how excited I was and I couldn't stop saying "Our baby has a heartbeat!"  Well, that morning of our anticipated appointment came, and on the ultrasound, our baby was there, but the sound I had been longing for and dreaming about, the sweet, precious, amazing sound of that tiny heart beating away, was not there...  the doctor tried for what seemed like forever to find it, but there was nothing - no flicker, no movement, no heartbeat.  All of our joy and anticipation suddenly turned into disbelief, numbness, and extreme heartache.  We cried until we felt like we couldn't cry anymore.  I was just in disbelief.  For days I kept thinking back over the recent weeks, what I had done, what I had eaten and drank, what I could have or should have done differently.  Everyone says it's not your fault - I've said that to patients before myself, but it's so hard to not blame yourself for something like that.  That baby is completely dependent on you and you can't help but feel guilty when things go wrong even when you know deep down that there is nothing you could have done to change this.  You feel so helpless, somewhat empty inside knowing that the child you had been expecting is not going to come.  This has been a long few weeks for us, probably the most difficult we've gone through together.  There are days where I think I am doing fine and everything is going great, and then there are still moments where I just cry, because it does still hurt.  I don't know that that will ever really go away completely.  The good news is that it does get better.  Through this, I think we have grown to appreciate the blessings that God has given us so much more!  Bayley just seems so much more precious and we appreciate her so much more and are even more thankful than before, which I didn't think was possible!  God has blessed us with a beautiful, perfect, healthy, wonderful daughter who truly is the light of our lives!  He has blessed us with an amazing family who supports and encourages us in so many ways.  He blessed us with friends and mothers who have gone through similar things and have provided us with words of encouragement, hugs, cards, and their friendship.  He has blessed us with family and friends who are expecting babies in the coming months who are having healthy pregnancies and healthy babies who we are very excited for!  We are so grateful for all of these blessings!  This has been one of the hardest things we've had to go through - it's very difficult for us to deal with something that is so far out of our control and know that there is nothing we can do to change it.  I strongly feel though that for whatever reason, this was part of God's plan for our life.  I don't think that God ever wants us to have to go through something like this and deal with that pain, but I do know that God has a plan for all of this and that His plan is unimaginably better than the one that we had been trying to make.  I take great comfort in knowing that God is in control and He has a better plan for us.  He is taking care of us and will bring us through this and make us stronger as a result.  I know that He has great blessings in store for our family, and He has used this experience to teach us so much already.  We have learned a lot about ourselves, we have had to rely completely on Him which is something that we sometimes forget to do, we have gained a new appreciation for the amazing daughter He has already given us!  Being a parent has given me a whole new appreciation for God's gift of Jesus, because I now know the love a parent has for their child, and I can't imagine ever giving her up for anything, so I therefore have a whole new understanding and appreciation of His sacrifice of His Son for us!  So many scriptures have gone through my mind these recent weeks, and I have taken great comfort in those verses and my prayer time with my Father, knowing that He loves me enough to send His Son to die for me, and He is watching over us, our family, our daughter, our future children... I trust that He has great plans for our family and I trust that He will show us those plans in His perfect timing.  I like to be in control in most things, but this experience is teaching me more and more to relax and take comfort in knowing that God is in control and His planning and timing is better than anything I could have come up with!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse is special to me, it has been ever since Mr. Meredith made us learn it back in high school - it has been on my heart constantly in recent weeks.  I am trusting in God, and I know that He is showing me the path He has planned for us - His plans and His timing are always perfect...      

Helllloooo spring!

Today was the first official day of spring, and aside from no free Rita's, it was a really great day! We had a nice morning at church and after a very long nap for Bayley (which is always appreciated by us), she and I got to go enjoy the sunshine and warm weather after Joe went to work. I have always had a hard time picking my favorite season, because there are things I love about each one, and winter is no exception, but every year I am sooo glad when the sunshine and warm weather of spring comes along! I love that it is light out later, the sun seems to shine a little brighter, you wake up to birds chirping outside, everything is starting to look alive and colorful again, and it's WARM! I have so enjoyed being able to run outside the last couple of weeks, and something about the sun and warmth just seems to bring a new level of energy and I love it! This year we have also been enjoying taking Bayley outside to enjoy the weather and explore the world around her. She really seems to love being outside in the sunshine! I am always amazed at God's creation and the concept of new life that comes each spring. I am so thankful for this wonderful, beautiful earth that God has blessed us with and the changing seasons He gives us each year! And I am completely loving sharing them with the most beautiful creation we have ever seen, Bayley! Hope you're all enjoying the spring and warm weather and hopefully some of you got some yummy free Rita's today!

 Just sitting outside on a blanket reading stories and playing with her toys :)

 I never imagined it was possible to be this happy, we feel so incredibly blessed with our life!

 "mom, how many pictures are you going to take??"

my Grammy got her this baby doll for a baby shower before she was born, and it has quickly become her favorite toy - she lights up and loves on it whenever she sees it (and eats it and drools all over it)

HAPPY SPRING!!

6 months already?!?

We never truly appreciated the saying "time flies (especially when you're having fun)" until we became parents.  Our sweet Bayley turned 6 months old last week (I apologize because this whole blog is basically about her - we want our family in PA, NC, and AR to feel like they're able to share in these things with us) and I don't know where the last 6 months have gone!  It really seems like only a few days ago we were bringing her home from the hospital, and now, she's sitting up, rolling over all over the place, laughing, interacting, eating real food, she's just growing up so fast, and while it is so rewarding to see her growing and changing and a happy and healthy baby, I can't help but wish that time would just slow down a bit!  I am so thankful that I have had these last few weeks home with her before starting my new job, because things definitely seemed to go by even more quickly while I was working full time.  Every day I am more amazed and in awe of God's creation and this amazing, beautiful gift He has entrusted us with, we have never been so happy as we have these past months!  Bayley grows more and more everyday and we often find ourselves just watching her, completely in love and infatuated with her precious little self!  She is such a content baby and will be happy to just sit on a blanket on the floor and play for the longest time, and she has recently started rolling over ALL over the place - seriously, we will sit her down on her blanket with her toys and within minutes she is on the complete other side of the room!  Guess we will have to start baby-proofing the house soon...  She is a very happy baby and LOVES to laugh, sometimes all it takes is for one of us to just look at her and she cracks up hysterically!  She has started eating baby food now that she is 6 months old, and her favorite is carrots, she will eat them at every meal if we let her - green beans on the other hand, not so much, haha.  One of the most heartwarming things, in my opinion, that she has started doing is reaching for us when she wants us and to see her whole face just light up when she sees us, she truly is our little miracle, and I don't know how we got so lucky...

This is kind of a crazy face, but she gets so excited when she laughs

Trying rice cereal for the first time!

just sitting on her blanket, playing with her toys and laughing at mommy - Mom, here is your big toothless grin picture!

laughing some more

first time trying carrots - she wasn't too sure at first, she thought it was more fun to spit them at us than actually eat them :)

she has been really good about sitting and playing with toys in her high chair while we're cooking or cleaning in the kitchen

first bite of sweet potatoes - she seems to always be unsure the first bite of a new food

green beans

this was the first really nice weather day of the spring, so Daddy bought her a pretty swing and hung it from the deck out back

and we went to the playground to swing on the big swings

and go down the slide

this was her first time riding in the stroller sitting up (not in her carseat) - I think she liked looking around at everything

We have hundreds more pictures that we could post, but its getting kind of late for that now, I promise I'll try to be better about posting pictures of her more often, she's growing so fast!  Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it!  

Just laugh

Do you ever find something so funny that you simply must share it?  The following video is not new by any standard, however, it remains funny no matter how many times I watch it.  Thus, I submit this for your viewing pleasure hoping that maybe it gives you a laugh that you just might need today.  I know I have those days where a laugh does so much good.

Food for thought

You know how sometimes we, as parents especially, long for just some "me" time.  A time with quiet and solace.  The eerie kind.  Well, Sarah and Bayley are in Pennsyvlania visiting her family and have been since Saturday.  I am not going to go get them until next Wednesday, so that left me with a week and a half of that kind of quiet I was describing.  Now, that I have it, it's very weird for it to be so quiet in the house.  To be honest, too quiet.  I miss my two favorite girls in the world and it's so different without them in the house keeping me occupied.  However, I suppose I will relish the time I do have to sit.  It just goes to show it's not always greener on the other side. 

On another note, I saw the video at the bottom or your screen tonight on Facebook.  The story is sad and touching.  Watching this video and relishing how this man viewed his life makes me examine my outlook on things in my life.  Do you ever see some of these sad, even sometimes tragic, situations and ask yourself how you would handle that hand had it been dealt to you?  I do that quite often.  Most times I disappoint myself by knowing I would not have such a fantastic outlook on life, because I should know better and have a better perspective.  I hope I have that perspective one day. 

I encourage you to watch this man's video and let it sink it.  One line that really caught me, which you will hear, is.."If God choosed to heal me, then God is God, and God is good!  If God chooses not to heal me and allows me to die, God is still God, and God is still good!"

Transparency

This is something I've been thinking on for about a week now.  It came to me as I watched 60 Minutes' interview with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.  Now, agree or disagree with what the man has done regarding all the classified documents he has released and the many more he promises to release if punishment is brought upon him, there is one thing he aims for that I whole-heartedly agree with...transparency!

Now, he aims for transparency in goverment and business.  I would hope we aim for it in everything.  So much is cloaked in secrecy with so much of our lives, and I can't help but think if life wouldn't be better for all if everyone was transparent to one another. 

I find it mildly amusing how people believe they can hide things from their spouses, children and family, but even more ridiculous is how people believe they can hide things from God.  If there was ever a person to be completely transparent with, it's God.  He's the least judgemental person I know, because no matter how many times I fail in the race of life, I still get the gold medal.  It's quite amazing how that can be so.  Even if you are transparent with everyone else in your life, there will still be problems between people.  But not with God.  It's fantastic. 

Puppy Love

Our family has 2 very special dogs, a beagle named Scarlette, and a puggle named Brutus.  We adopted Scarlette from the humane society a couple months before we got married, back in July 2007, and then a few months later, we went into Petland to look for a toy for her one night out after dinner, and we found Brutus.  We were in love instantly, and ended up bringing him home with us a couple of days later.  Our dogs have been like our children these past few years.  Funny thing is, that we used to make fun of people who were that in love with their animals, probably because we didn't understand that a person could feel so strongly about a pet like that.  Well, Scarlette and Brutus are a very important part of our family, they have been since the minute we met them, and we wouldn't trade them for the world!  They really have been like our children though, and we even joke that sometimes they act more like people than dogs.  They sleep in the bed, sit on the couch, and Brutus has even been known to hop up in a chair at the kitchen table at dinner time and just sit there, as if he's waiting for his plate to be served.  Before Bayley came, we were kind of concerned about how the dogs would act around her, and our parents were all VERY concerned about their grandchild with these 2 crazy dogs.  The first night we brought her home, we were pretty skeptical as the dogs both got pretty crazy and curious.  Since that night, however, they have been so great with her!  Scarlette is always looking for opportunities to smell her and lick her and Brutus has been pretty indifferent for the most part, acknowledging her presence, yet not seeming to care much about her, just stealing her toys.  We are so thankful that they have been so good with B thus far because we can't imagine our lives without the pups, but just in case there were any doubts, I think today further assured us they'd all get along and be alright!  As Bayley has gotten older, she has become more interested in her puppies, but it was as if she discovered them for the first time today.  As we said yesterday, she has been discovering her world and loving it, and today she discovered how much fun the dogs are!  We were all sitting on the couch and she grabbed Brutus' fur and his tail - he turned around and she squealed with delight!  He then proceeded to shake his ears, making her laugh even louder!  Scarlette wanted to join in on the fun, so she came over and licked Bayley's hand, causing even more sweet laughter!  It may not be exciting to you reading this, but it was so precious to us to see her discover the dogs, and that they let her squeal in their faces, pull their ears, tails and fur and they all had fun together was just so exciting!  Here are a couple pictures of B playing with her dogs this evening - Brutus is looking at the camera while Scarlette hides behind him.

you can't really tell here, but she kept petting his leg 

she thinks their faces are soooo funny

We are pretty big picture people (at least Sarah is), so we will try to post at least one picture in our posts for our family and friends who we don't get to see very often.  Thanks for reading and God bless!

b.e.l.

So, we think its pretty appropriate that one of our first posts be about the most important person in our life - Bayley Elisabeth Lohr!  We had been praying about a baby for several months, but were still kind of surprised when we found out we were pregnant.  We weren't really trying to have a baby yet, but we had decided to leave it in God's hands as His timing is always perfect and just over a year ago, we found out we were becoming a family of 3!  Needless to say we were a little shocked, COMPLETELY thrilled, and a bit overwhelmed at the thought of having a child, but our lives have just continued to get immeasurably better since that day!
Bayley was due on 9/5/10, but she decided to do things on her own time.  We were scheduled to be induced on 9/9/10 at 8am, but Sarah woke up with some pretty bad back pain around 1:30 that morning and we were so thankful she decided to come on her own!  It was a fairly quick labor process, and after just half a push, she was born at 10:55am weighing in at 6lbs 14oz, 19in long and absolutely perfect!  We were so amazed, it was so surreal.  This was our daughter,  After years of praying and months of waiting, she was here, in our arms, and she was beautiful!  And there we were, our family of three, our hearts overflowing with joy and love!

Its hard to believe this picture is from almost 5 months ago!  Before B arrived, everyone kept telling us to just relax and enjoy it, because time flies, and we had no idea just how true that was.  But it seems like only yesterday we were getting her nursery ready and talking about how we can't wait for her to get here...  These past few months have definitely been some of the most hectic, crazy months of our lives, but life has never been so amazing as it is with B.  She truly is the light of our lives, and makes everything indescribably better!  We feel so incredibly blessed that God entrusted this precious little angel to us!

Bayley is by far the coolest person we know, she never ceases to make us smile, and even on our worst of days, just seeing her look up into your eyes and give you her big gumless smile, so big that her eyes close, that just seems to make everything alright.  

Since we're starting this blog when B is already almost 5 months old, we thought we'd add some pictures from the last few months of our life with Bayles, especially for our family and friends that we don't get to see very often, we miss you and love you and miss sharing this special time in our lives with you!

She has always been so alert, she loves looking around

she is definitely a cuddle bug, and LOVES her daddy!

tummy time has not always been her favorite, but she's getting better

in her cow halloween costume from Uncle Ben and Aunt Sarah

after church, happy baby

her first snowfall - she wasn't a big fan

Thanksgiving in PA 2010

First Thanksgiving at the farm

Grammy and Papa with their 3 great grandchildren - John Mark, Katie, and Bayley

(Anna will be joining the mix in just a few short weeks!!)

Bayley has the biggest smiles, she just melts our hearts!

Bayley's 1st Christmas - 2010

all dressed up in her Christmas dress

she really loves music, so Santa brought her a CD player

Christmas morning 2010

playing in the box of clothes from Uncle Ben and Aunt Sarah

Christmas morning 2010

just chillin on the couch

This is how we spend our Saturdays - playing with toys and having fun!  It has been so amazing to watch her explore and discover the world around her - she is discovering everything for the first time, and it makes you realize how amazing our world is, and how we so often take things for granted - it defnitely changes your perspective looking at the world through Bayley's eyes

She is so happy and content to play on her playmat and she just lays there talking to the animals that hang above her, its precious.

So, that is our life with B over the last few months in a nutshell.  Our lives have changed drastically since her birth.  There is not a decision we now make without first considering her, we are a little more sleep deprived, a little busier, our house may not always be perfectly clean, we now sport a pink diaper bag everywhere we go, and we've exchanged date nights at the movies for quiet nights at home reading goodnight moon and rocking our daughter to sleep.  Our lives have probably never been so busy, but our hearts have never been so full and we have never been so happy and thankful for the amazing life God has blessed us with!  Its always something new, and we're learning as we go, but we're on this journey together, our family of 3 (and our beloved puppies) and we're loving every moment!!!   

Welcome us to the neighborhood

Well, we might be a little late to the blogosphere party, but nonetheless, here we are.  I suppose I chose this name for our blog because so many times, we often view our lives and the sometimes menial tasks within them as habitual, even boring.  However, since becoming parents to the most wonderful little girl God every created, our lives have been anything but.

Every day has become a time of unexpected joys, stresses, laughs, adventures to the point where we have no idea what tomorrow brings when we wake.  But that's the fantastic part! Even though Sarah and I get up take care of Bayley, get things done around the house and go to work every day, it's new each time we do it. 

So, we encourage everyone to embrace the new same old things that happen each day of our lives.  It's a whole lot more fun when you do. 

Who knows how often we will be on here to blog seeing as Bayley happily takes most of our time, but we look forward to sharing with you and learning from you.  God bless.